people who dont wet their toothbrush before using it are strange and should not be trusted


masturbation is just having sex with the person you love the most

(Source: terrakion)


You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

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